TO DANCE OR… TO DATE?

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As I wrote in my first dance blog, dancing is a great way to meet new people. In that blog, I also stated that dancing “does something to you”. I personally believe that, beside the fact that moving your body to music is just a great way to make anyone feel better, it is mainly the interacting with other human beings that does the trick. I believe connecting with other people is what makes us happy. And let’s be honest, especially on the dance floor you see all kind of “connections”. More or less, they vary from “OMG, when is this dance finally over…” to “Oh baby, let’s get a room right now…” 


Is the dancing scene like a real-life Tinder?

It was at the beginning of my dancing experience that I was told by a long time dancer, that especially within the Salsa scene everybody “does it” with everyone. (Now now, keep your panties on. I am just sharing here.) Anyway, as a newbie fresh from the Swiss mountains, I couldn’t really believe that. I was like: “Noooo, you think? Surely we all just dance because of the dancing, right?” Wrong.

Let me rattle the cage a little… because by now, I do think that quite a few people on the dance floor are looking to find a partner. Not just a dancing partner, but you know… Mr. or Mrs. Right (for tonight). Oh yeah, Cupid is on a roll when it comes to dance parties. I’m sure he marks the dates of all major parties in his agenda with a big red cross. #BringExtraArrows #SnacksToo

Fun fact: Just recently, at a big dance party, I mentioned to a guy that I go dancing 3 to 4 times a week. His response: “Oh, you must be single then.” It wasn’t a question. It was a conclusion.


When Cupid’s arrow sticks, the dancing nights are over?

I asked my girls about this. They responded variously. One of my girls in fact doesn’t dance that often anymore since she has a boyfriend – which is just fine, btw. Another chica proclaimed: “When I meet a man, I will never stop dancing.” Or, as another one said: “Girl, I have a man at home – and I am here now, am I?”

Nevertheless, it would make sense though. Right? To stay at home or go out for dinner, instead of going dancing. When you meet a nice guy or girl on the dance floor, you want to spend time together. Get to know each other. Have a nice and quiet conversation.

After all, you’ve found a new connection…


The magic of dancing… may the Force be with you.

Connection. There it is again. That word. The magic word, I think, when it comes to dancing. When I dance alone (like “club wise”) I connect to the music. I love that. Music is key. But when I dance a Bachata or better yet, a Kizomba, I not only connect to the music… I also look for that specific connection with another human being.

You can’t force it. You can only open up to it. And sometimes you get lucky and find that wonderful match, when nothing matters anymore. There is only the music, the movement, guided by this beautiful connection. It all becomes one flow. No thinking. Just being. Sharing.

I have experienced this a few times. Now I am spoiled. I want more. But it doesn’t work that way. I know, because like I said, you can’t force it. It has to happen. Sometimes it happens totally unexpected, this special “high level” connection. Sometimes the connection is “just nice”.
Again… I’m spoiled now. That’s not even a downside though. It just makes me want to become a better dancer really. After all, with my 1.80m, I am not a “petite blonde” and I am no cute 25-year-old either. All I can do is “optimize” the connection. By being able to follow easily and always keep the flow going. Or just “not to fuck it up”, as I once was told. For real. “Nu verkloot je het,” he said. Oops… Byebye flow. There goes the connection. #Waving


So what is it? This connection.

One sec. Let me climb on my high horse, so I can act like I know it all…

Let me begin by saying there are different kind of connections, as in different kind of connection levels. I believe we all have our different energy levels, within our own personal energy field – which some would call the aura. When you feel bad, your aura responds, your energy changes. This works both ways though. If you find a way to fill up your energy level, smoothen the bumps and fill the voids in your energy field, you will feel better. Dancing can do that.

I like to think that when you find a person that is willing to share energy when dancing, aura’s can connect. The mere fact of sharing, will make that persons energy level rise… as contradictive as that may sound. And when both are sharing, both rise. It is true. Try it. 

The great thing about this kind of connection – to me – is the fact that no strings are attached. Putting it bluntly: it is not about sex. It is just about sharing. Sharing a moment in time, where two people connect, on the heartbeat of music.


So why Tinder, when dancing gives you so much more?

I have actually tried Tinder once. It lasted two weeks or so, I think? Not my thing. The swiping left-left-left-left-left-left… nah, it didn’t do it for me. And the few times I did swipe to the right – I had a match. Oh shit. Now I am supposed to text with the dude. And I don’t even know him.

Yeah, that’s the other way around. I know. But that’s how it works for me. I have to sense someone’s energy first, before I can decide on anything else. Especially when it is a stranger. Remember my first dance? Duh. Exactly.

So when it comes to dancing or dating? Dance! Dancing gives you just so much more. Maybe even a date…

Just dance! ❤️
Marloes

Marloes

Marloes

Author of the Dutch fantasy trilogy under the alias Birgit Berg.

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